Ah, yes. And how can we forget the stealing of campus property. Kudos goes to the stoic Jason Carr for this wonderful gem. He told me this epic story while briefly stopping at my house to grab a goody bag that my mother put together for his college dorm (long story, don’t ask).
“For one of our cycling trips we got to stay in the college campus dorms, which to this day I will say were the nicest dorms I have EVER seen. So, we were there along with some kids from New Jersey. Man, New Jersey kids are freakin’ crazy. I mean, we were watching the World Cup and one of them runs into the room with a firework and just sets it on the table and then lights it. There had to be at least thirty people on various couches and seats in that room! Everyone just scatters and gets behind cover while a few still watch the fuse in the distance as it slowly burns away. Then, of course, nothing happens because he took out the explosive in the firework, but still, crazy. So, then, we were walking around on the campus and we saw a golf cart near this fence. It just happened to be unlocked, so we assumed it was for our use. We jacked the thing and started joy riding around. We got back, then the Jersey kids showed up and it was their turn with the cart. They get back a few hours later and the thing is clearly in shitty condition. They tell us they took it down hills, through woods, and chased a deer with it. We examined the steering wheel and it had somehow been damaged in a way that we still don’t understand.
The next day, we go out to grab the golf cart and this time it was chained to the fence. Total bummer. But then the next day, ah paradise, it was once again unchained. We just get the thing started when the Jersey kids came by. We all piled in with the intent of going to a fair that was nearby, but too far to walk. So, we had like eight guys jammed into a six seat golf cart. We decided that once we got to the fair we would be absolute dicks, park it in an actual parking spot, and even pay for parking. We were just driving up a main campus street and then a little while later, someone in the back yelled “HEY, LOOK!!”. We all turn behind us and there is a very large, black security guard hauling ass towards us. The cart just stopped. We abandoned that thing and scattered in all different directions. I was laughing my ass off the entire time I was running away from the guy. We met back up and started playing volleyball and we decided that we had been there for at least an hour. Later on we found out there was this kid who was supposed to be watching it. That kid eventually came by and was talking shit like, “There were these punk kids who stole the golf cart, but I showed them.”
Yeah … the next day the golf cart was double chained.”
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