Parka

Don’t you just hate getting ripped into and not having a response? You always feel outwitted. If you come up with anything it’s the quickest and most versatile phrase, FUCK YOU! Now, I’m not saying fuck you isn’t a good phrase. It can be heart stopping if well timed and well placed in a conversation or argument. The look on the opponents face should be a “Aw naw you di’nt” after a fuck you. But we all know that if overused, the term “fuck you” loses its power. Just the other day I was musing about my Freshman and Sophomore math teacher, who, when asked when we would be able to see our tests, would respond, when hell freezes over. I have always hated that. I thought, “Damn, what can I say to that?” Now, it had to be reasonable and not off the charts. It couldn’t be a hearty “FUCK YOU”, or I would have been brutally hauled away and yelled at. No. I needed something witty, yet civil. Something quotable, a classic to be remembered and used in novels and movies. Well, I have finally done it. Unfortunately, the response came to me much too late to be of any use in the past. However, for those of you of the future, keep this response in mind.

Sample conversation:

Student: When will we be getting our tests back?

Teacher: When hell freezes over.

Student: I will be waiting here with my parka.

It works. It shows resilience. It shows wit. In time someone will find a response to the parka remark and my services may be needed again. But until then my friends, I retreat for the evening with this little gift to the world.