Introduction
Some things in this universe make complete and absolute sense. For example, it makes sense that when I pick my nose, I definitely do not eat the boogers. Or perhaps, the same is true for when I fall, it makes perfect sense to get back up, I cannot live on the ground forever. However, there are many things that are equally as confusing and strange that exist in the world. Consider two people. One is hurt in an automobile accident and breaks his left arm. The second person, let’s say, his brother, feels a sharp, uncomfortable pain in his arm at the exact same time, four hundred miles away. Now, I would say that it quite unexplainable by today’s traditional medical standards.
Of course, we think that these strange occurrences will never happen to us. No. Not possible. Never. Yet, sometimes, we just have to look a little closer. Imagine the possibility of the paranormal, if you will. Imagination unlocks our reality and society’s norms. When we are small children, we imagine constantly. I used to imagine I was an astronaut, traveling through space and discovering aliens from other planets. I’m sure you imagined as well.
What is extraordinarily different about this story is that it was not imagined. No, sir. This actually happened on Christmas Eve at the Ross household. Now, you cannot tell your parents about this story because they will never believe it. Where were Mr. and Mrs. Ross you may ask? Well, they went out after putting the four Ross children to bed to do some very last minute Christmas shopping. And it is here that our story begins ….
Chapter 1: The Adventures of Steven Robert Ross … or as I call him … Steve.
Mrs. Ross kissed Steve on the forehead and told him to go to sleep.
“We have a big day tomorrow.” She said. “Tons of presents to open. And you know that Santa won’t come unless you go to sleep.”
“But I want to hear him when he comes. I have so many questions to ask him … like what makes his reindeer fly.” Steve whined.
“You will be sorry if you stay up. You will be tired, cranky, and you won’t have any energy to open your presents. And whoever opens the present gets the present. So that means I will give all of your presents to Deanna and Rachel and they get to keep them.”
“You can’t do that!” Steve yelled.
“Oh yes I can.” Mrs. Ross said with a cynical smile on her face. “Now, get some sleep.”
“Okay.” Sighed Steve.
Mrs. Ross pulled the blanket over Steve’s chest and he gave her a pouty face to which she replied by sporting a radiant Christmas Eve smile. Mrs. Ross went downstairs and into the kitchen and told Deanna, who was drawing at the time, to go to bed. Deanna did as she was told and walked upstairs.
“You ready to go, hun.” Mr. Ross asked.
“Yes. One second. Let me get my jacket on. It’s really cold out tonight.”
“It’s Christmas Eve. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” He said.
As the two approached the door, Mrs. Ross spoke to Rachel, who was playing on the computer and talking on Shur Turgal.
“Rachel, your father and I are going out for a bit. You should get ready for bed soon.”
“Mmf.” Rachel grunted.
“I love you too Rachel!” Dad joked.
“Ha ha, Dad.” Rachel replied sarcastically.
Mr. and Mrs. Ross left the house through the front door and entered the silver minivan to go shopping. JP and April came up from the basement after watching a Christmas movie to scrounge for late night Christmas Eve snacks. April kissed JP on the cheek while he drank some apple juice.
“Ewwwwwwwwww.” Steve groaned.
Steve had heard his mother and father leaving the house and ventured into the kitchen.
“Oh quiet you.” April said.
“You should be in bed silly pants.” JP said playfully.
“I’m going to stay up ‘til Santa comes.” Steve replied.
“You can’t. You’ll fall asleep. I know, I’ve tried.” JP said.
“No, I won’t.”
“Yes you will.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yeah huh.”
“NUH UH!”
“YUH HUH!”
“I WILL NOT!”
“Hmmm, touché. Well, we’ll see by the end of the night.”
“I’m going to my room.” Steve said.
“Take Neo with you. He keeps eating marshmallows.” April said.
“Okay. I guess I can do that. Come on Neo.”
Steve went upstairs with Neo and began reading the Magic School Bus stories when he suddenly heard a strange noise coming from one of his dresser drawers. Neo started barking at the noise and growling. Then, just as suddenly as the noise came, it went away. Neo stopped barking and finally meandered out of the room. Steve rested his head against the side of his bead and slowly began to drift off to sleep. The rattling from inside the dresser began again and brought him back to attention. Armed with his plastic light saber, Steve approached and opened the dresser. As soon as the drawer opened, a blinding flash of light filled the room and a figure jumped out of Steve’s underwear drawer. Steve stumbled, did a summersault, and nearly broke his leg when he tripped on the Magic School Bus book. The light returned to normal and a large man stood in the middle of Steve’s room. He was at least seven feet tall with an enormous potbelly hanging over his trousers that were barely being held up by black suspenders. His hair was disheveled and wild, shooting out in all directions. And his feet! He had enormous feet.
“OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!” The figure cried. “Your underwear is absolutely rank! Do you shower?!”
“AHHHHH!” Steve yelled. “HELP!”
“Oh shush boy. They can’t hear you. I’ve taken the liberty of sound proofing the room.”
“Who … who are you!?” Steve stammered.
“It doesn’t matter, boy. Now put that plastic light saber down. Plastic doesn’t hurt anyone.”
“Are you a genie?” Steve asked.
“Well, in a way, yes I am. My actual title is Christmas Phantom. I work for the Big Man. You know? Santa Claus.”
“You work for Santa?”
“More or less. Some things I do are a little unorthodox, but he will never find out anyway.”
“Orthodontist what?”
“Haha, I forget you are only seven sometimes.”
“Hmm. If you are a genie, do I get wishes?”
“Why does everyone ask that? Can’t anyone just be content with what they’ve got?” The figure paused and sighed. “What do you want? Two wishes. Nothing outrageous I hope.”
“Hmmmm.” Steve thought hard about what he wanted. “I would like … a bajillion dollars and … I want to see Santa Claus tonight.”
“Well, bajillion isn’t a number, but one billion dollars seems to rhyme. Does that work?”
“Yes it does.”
“Mmmmk then, your wishes have been granted.
“Cool.”
“Interesting phrases you young one’s come up with. Some day I will learn about the Hip to the Hop that you kids listen to.”
“I don’t listen to that. I listen to classic rock.”
“YOU DO!?”
“Yes. Why do you ask?”
Steve and the Christmas Phantom engaged in a long discussion ranging from the amazing guitar abilities of Jimi Hendrix to how Mrs. Ross listens to nothing else but Steely Dan. However, this is not just a story about Steve. No. We have much more to discuss. Now, during the Christmas Phantom escapade, Deanna thought she had heard a muffled cry for help coming from Steve’s room, assumed it was a boy being a boy, and decided to finish her drawing in the kitchen.
Chapter 2: The Strange Discoveries of Deanna Caroline Ross after Mr. and Mrs. Ross Had Left
Deanna, now in her pajamas, walked downstairs, passed Rachel who was going up the stairs to go to the bathroom, and took a seat at the kitchen table. She grabbed her pencil and began to draw beagles, birds, silly aliens, and an enormous (it was twenty feet according to the scale) Christmas tree complete with every imaginable decoration including candy canes, six different colored lights, and nutcracker ornaments. Deanna thought she heard something rustling in the dark living room. The only light was coming from the computer, and was definitely not enough light to see in the darkest corners. She saw a shadow moving and began to become very frightened. The figure moved closer quite quickly. The only thing Deanna could see was that the figure seemed to be covered in red clothing from head to toe. Suddenly … No … It couldn’t be … IT WAS! Santa Claus had appeared in the Ross family living room and ran past Deanna and went straight for the refrigerator. Deanna, still in shock, simply stared at Santa as he quickly scratched his butt and grabbed some eggs. He went straight for the cupboard full of plates, mysteriously knowing where to find them, cracked the eggs, and put the raw yokes onto the plate. Santa Claus paused for a moment, stared at the plate, and suddenly the eggs began to scramble themselves on the plate! Santa then grabbed a fork and sat down at the table. He began eating when he felt another presence in the room, slowly began to look up, and saw Deanna with a horrified look on her face.
“Uh oh.” Santa said with egg white crumbs in his snow white beard.
“Santa?” Deanna asked.
“How did I get here? One minute I’m in a house in Brooklyn and then I’m in
“You’re Santa.”
“Yes little Deanna, we have already established that. We need to establish why and how I am here.”
“You know my name?”
“Of course I know your name. I have your Christmas list in my pocket right here.”
“You can’t be the real Santa. You only come when I’m sleeping.”
“See, that is normally true, but somehow things get messed up once and a while and that’s how kids like you have Santa sightings.”
“How can I tell if you are the real Santa Claus?”
“Ok, you want proof? Here is some proof. See those drawings. How about I make them real?”
“No way!”
“Yes, way. Now, stand back darling.”
Santa Claus stared at Deanna’s piece of paper with the same intensity that he looked at those eggs. Only this time, the small pencil lines began to take shape and lift themselves from the paper. First, the beagles popped out and started barking at everything and eating the marshmallows that JP left on the floor. Then the birds started chirping and flying around the entire house. The aliens somehow passed out of the front door and UFO sightings were seen along I-45 on Christmas Day. Lastly, with a sudden crash, the twenty foot Christmas tree appeared in the living room, puncturing a gaping hole in the ceiling.
“Whoops.” Santa said. “Didn’t mean to do that.”
“You are the real Santa!”
“Told you so. Now, I need to find out how I got here so I can continue my Christmas Eve rounds. Everyone has to get their presents you know. Let’s start looking around for who is responsibly for this.”
“Okay, but what are we going to do about … all of this?”
“Oh, don’t worry about it; it’ll take care of itself.”
Santa and Deanna began their search by going downstairs into the basement. There they saw JP and April snuggling and watching a Christmas movie, nothing terribly out of the ordinary. JP thought he saw shiny black boots and red pants and Deanna’s little feet and called out to them.
“Deanna, who do you have with you?” JP asked.
“It’s … uh … It’s Steve, we’re playing dress up.” Deanna replied.
“Ummm, Steve doesn’t have size eleven feet does he?” JP asked April.
“Most definitely not.”
April looked in terror at JP thinking that a stranger had been let into the house. Without warning, a bird flew down the stairs chirping loudly. April screamed when the bird landed on her shoulder. JP shooed the bird off her shoulder and they both ran upstairs running into Santa and Deanna, forgetting for a moment the perceived intruder. Santa yelled, Deanna got knocked to the ground and started crying not because she was hurt, but mostly because everyone was yelling and screaming and it seemed like the right thing to do. Santa jumped to his feet, picked up Deanna and ran upstairs, tried to get into the bathroom, which was locked, tried Steve’s room, which was also locked, and simply decided to burst Steve’s door open in a fit of fright.
Steve and the Christmas Phantom were sitting on the bed playing checkers while discussing the meanings of Bob Dylan’s songs when the door suddenly burst into splinters. What happened next can only be described as awkward. Santa and Deanna stood staring at Steve and the Christmas Phantom in the doorway. Steve and the Christmas Phantom sat staring at Santa and Deanna.
“YOU!” Santa bellowed.
“Uh oh.” The Christmas Phantom muttered.
For a moment, no one said a word. Steve and Deanna looked back and forth from Santa to the Christmas Phantom, waiting to see what was going to happen next. A bird flew into the room and everyone watched as it settled on Steve’s dresser. Still, no one moved. The bird chirped and suddenly Santa lunged for the Christmas Phantom. The Christmas Phantom screamed like a little girl and started running around the room. Unfortunately for Santa Claus, his portly belly made it a little difficult to catch the Phantom. The Phantom jumped from Steve’s bed to the floor, ran around a box of comics in the middle of the room, and jumped back onto Steve’s bed. Santa Claus tripped on the Magic School Bus book and fell with a thud to the floor. However, even with his portly belly, Santa still has quick reflexes. Santa jumped back up from the floor, managed to grab the Christmas Phantom, and to everyone’s horror, they both went crashing into the wall.
Chapter 3: Rachel Morel Ross’s Unfortunate Encounter Following a Loud Crash
If you, the reader, have a good enough memory, you will remember that before Deanna saw Santa Claus in the kitchen, she saw Rachel going up the stairs to the bathroom. Rachel went to the bathroom for a much needed break after sitting at the computer without moving for three hours. She had barely been in the bathroom for two minutes before she heard a loud crash, barking, chirping and strange swooshing noises coming from downstairs. She just moved towards the wall, hoping that whatever it was downstairs was not going to come upstairs, and definitely hoping that it did not try coming into the bathroom. She then heard a few screams and yells coming from the stairs that lead to the basement and then the thunder of footsteps coming right upstairs not too long after. This can not be good Rachel thought. The bathroom door jolted and Rachel curled herself into the smallest ball possible, hoping to not be heard. Someone broke what sounded like Steve’s door and then she heard nothing. The whole house went silent for what seemed an eternity before erupting in more crashes from Steve’s room. Without any explanation, a flailing ball of red and some other tall guy broke through the wall of the bathroom and landed, still fighting, onto the floor. Rachel jumped into the tub to avoid getting hurt when silence once again came over the house. Rachel peeked her head above the rim of the tub to see what just made such a ruckus and was surprised to see Santa Claus, wheezing, and some other funnily dressed guy who looked exhausted.
“What are you guys doing here?” Rachel asked in a monotone voice.
Santa and the Christmas Phantom looked at each other for a moment and suddenly began laughing uncontrollably.
“Oops.” Santa said, still giggling. “Didn’t mean to do that, did we?”
“Most certainly not.” The Christmas Phantom said.
“Oops. That’s all you have to say for yourselves? You just broke through the bathroom wall. I’m probably going to have to clean all this up.”
“Oh, don’t worry Rachel, everything will be fine.” Santa said.
“Number one, everything is not fine. Look at all of this plaster and glass. Number two, there is no way that I will be able to fix a gaping hole in the wall before my parents get home.”
“Ha! She doesn’t believe you can do it Papa Claus!” The Phantom said.
“You want to see a little magic Rachel. Watch this!” Santa said.
Santa stared hard at the floor and hole in the wall and all of the little broken splinters of wood, plaster and shards of glass began to move on their own. Then, with suctioning noise, all of the pieces fit back together perfectly. Rachel got out of the tub and looked at the wall.
“There isn’t even a scratch!” She said. It must have been the first enthusiastic thing she had said in weeks.
“A little bit of Christmas magic never hurt anybody.” Santa said.
JP and April, finally upstairs, managed to pry the bathroom door open and saw Santa, the Phantom, and Rachel all in the bathroom together. Steve and Deanna were also in the bathroom doorway with JP and April, and were mostly wondering how a hole the size of a car had been mysteriously fixed.
“You have some explaining to do Rachel!” April said.
“What!? Why does everyone blame me for everything?” Rachel replied.
“Because we can!” JP, April, Steve, and Deanna answered.
“Well, I didn’t do it, so you all can just be quiet.”
“Again, touché.” JP said.
“I think Santa has some explaining to do.” Said the Christmas Phantom.
“Yes, yes I do. It’s probably not too hard to see, but every year, fewer and fewer people believe in me. The Christmas Phantom and I disagree about whether some bad children should get presents, so he left the North Pole many years ago. Every year he makes a little trouble and forces me to come and fix it all up. I never know when or where he will strike, so it is always a surprise for me. Luckily, he only bothers me on Christmas Eve. Sometimes little brothers can be so annoying!”
“Wait. He’s your brother?” Deanna asked.
“Of course he is! Can’t you see the resemblance?” Santa said.
“No. Do you have different mothers?” Rachel said.
“Rachel!” April barked.
“Haha, no worries April. We get that all the time.” Said the Christmas Phantom. “It just so happens that I received my stunning good looks from our mother. And poor Chris over there received his looks from our father, who looked like he had been hit by a train.”
“It’s true.” Santa said with a smile. “But look who’s married.”
“Indeed.” The Christmas Phantom said.
“Well, now to something that I actually care about.” Rachel said while rolling her eyes. “Our parents are gonna be home soon and you better fix up this house.”
Just then, Neo ran into the room, no longer afraid of the other beagles and birds in the house and found new subjects to bark at, Santa and the Christmas Phantom. Neo liked them instantly and started nudging his head against Santa in order to be scratched under the collar.
“I think we should get going now.” Santa said. “I have the rest of the world to deliver presents to.”
“Yes, I have caused enough trouble for one night.” The Christmas Phantom sighed.
“Let’s go fix everything quickly.” Santa said. “Then I’ll be on my way.”
“What about them?” The Phantom asked.
“Oh yes, I nearly forgot.” Santa replied.
With a wave of his hand, Santa put everyone but his brother to sleep around the bathroom doorway. Rachel fell asleep, still in the tub. Deanna crumpled onto Steven who subsequently let out a small groan. April fell asleep and her right arm somehow managed to rest cutely upon Deanna’s shoulder. JP fell backwards, rolled down the stairs, narrowly escaped harm, and smiled. Santa walked downstairs with the Christmas Phantom and began to fix everything in the house, first by removing all of the birds and dogs. The aliens were already too far away to get rid of. The two brothers looked around, smiled, and decided it was time to get back to business. One minute later, Mr. and Mrs. Ross walked into the house. They saw JP on the ground first and walked up the stairs to see what must have looked quite odd. After getting everyone into bed, Mr. and Mrs. Ross unexpectedly walked to the living room to find an enormous Christmas tree that had made a large hole in the ceiling. Needless to say, they were confused and infuriated, which are responses that make sense to me. I told you everything makes sense, didn’t I?
