Elastic Skin

You may know,
With a little bit of blow,
That JP can stretch his skin.
Oh it’s ugly as sin,
Or so the people say.
There will be a day,
When it sags to his knees,
Like some horrible disease.

So stretch it if you can.
An elastic neck,
To bring joy to the world.
So stretch it if you can.

Its worse than tumor,
With a little bit of humor,
You can laugh it off,
Even when you cough.
At least he’s unique,
Unlike you who seek,
The meaning of life,
On the blade of a knife.

So stretch it if you can.
An elastic neck,
To bring joy to the world.
So stretch it if you can.

Big Dreams From A Little Town

This small town,
Has cheated me,
Oh, how I wish to be free.

Once,
Long ago,
I dropped the dime,
And fell into the depths of time.

Never look back,
At the things you left there.
Gotta keep a runnin',
Or you're goin' nowhere.

People like tiny flies,
Flyin' 'round your head,
Listenin' to your little secrets,
Only to tell the world.

I saw you once,
And fell in love.
Love at first sight,
Is what they said.
My only chance,
To get out of here.

But you escaped,
Slipped away.
Just like the dreams,
Lost and faded away.

So Close

Standing side by side,
Seeing shadows of the past.
What I’d give to see,
Your smiling face again.
Please stay with me tonight.

Watching you dance,
Through the window.
So close I can hear you,
So close I can smell you,
But too far to touch you,
Too shy to tell you I love you.

I need a commitment.
I need you to love me too.

She Asked Me Why

She asked me why,
I am not the kind of guy,
I used to be.
And I replied,
Because I died.

My decomposing corpse,
As my soul warps,
Through eternal time.

What I’d give,
To see you just one more time.

Your face,
In the dark of the night,
Smiling bright,
Brighter than all the stars in the sky.

My heart crushed,
Gave way to death,
Slow and painful,
The reaper found his soul.

Emotional Trivium

Why can’t girls,
Have only three emotions,
Anger, Pleasure, and
Complacency.

I lost her once.
Couldn’t tell what
She wanted from me.

But no,
They change the rules,
And get depressed.
Says she’s ugly,
And hates herself.

Lordie why not three,
Why must it be,
so many more?

My oh my,
Girls are hard to understand.

Just kiss me,
And let me know,
How you feel.

So I know,
How to respond,
In my elegant style.

Why can’t girls,
Have only three emotions,
Anger, Pleasure, and
Complacency.

I lost her once.
Couldn’t tell what
She wanted from me.

Girls, they make my life so hard.

Suicide Row

This is a first of a series of a new approach I am trying. I come up with a quick phrase as I am doing anything, I write it down, and then create a poem or a set of lyrics for it. So, this should be random as hell, but no worries. Hopefully, you will find them enjoyable.

Look at me,
On Suicide Row,
All hell’s breakin’ loose,
On cellblock E.

They got pissed,
The warden hissed,
The riot ensued,
Oh and the guard got screwed.

Oh get me off of cellblock E,
I might be stuck here for eternity,
Right on Suicide Row,
This shouldn’t be how it goes.

Shots are fired,
The inmates tired,
Give in,
To the guards of Suicide Row.

They get tried again,
Murder in the first degree,
Hang themselves from the pipes above,
No wonder it’s called Suicide Row.

Oh get me off of cellblock E,
I might be stuck here for eternity,
Right on Suicide Row,
This shouldn’t be how it goes.

Ripple In the Water

You look at your reflection,
In the pond,
See nothing of beauty,
You turn away.

You splash the water,
I see the ripple,
Find the source,
And I see your beauty,
In all that you do.

I tell you this,
Over and over,
Why don’t you believe me,
I wouldn’t lie to you.

I tell you it’s true,
And,
Truth isn’t wrong.
Just trust in me,
You won’t get hurt.

Take my hand,
And,
Follow me,
Back to the pond,
To prove your beauty,
Go look and see.

Sorry For the Delay Gentlemen

Well, it has been a few months since I have posted last. I would just like to say that I am sorry for those who have been expecting stuff. I have several things in the works I haven't typed yet, and I also have an idea for setting up a blog for follies, so don't think my posting days are over (it's just that lately my life has been booked even during the time usually designated for sleep).

Peace.

Teenage Rampage

It’s one big long teenage rampage,
We thought the violence was behind us,
Calm,
Cool,
Collected,
The shots are fired,
The students fall.

The fog over Columbine has been lifted,
It now hangs low over Minnesota,
Who did wrong to this child,
Or was he simply crazy.

Laughing and grinning as he waves that gun around,
Methodically aims and pulls the trigger,
The bullet hits you and now you’re dead,
Another day to live in infamy.

When will we see,
That hate’s not the answer,
When will we see,
That love saves all.

Once the mist clears,
And the dust settles on the ground,
We see the teenage wasteland,
Now look to the future,
I see hope ahead,
Use this to save the others.

It’s one big long teenage rampage,
We thought the violence was behind us,
Calm,
Cool,
Collected,
The shots are fired,
The students fall.

The fog over Columbine has been lifted,
It now hangs low over Minnesota,
Who did wrong to this child,
Or was he simply crazy.

Dedicated to the victims of the Minnesota shooting.

Peace all.

Jesus

Watching the End of the World From My Front Porch

When the world comes crashing down,
And Chicken Little cries,
Oh! "The sky is falling!"
The sunset is stained blood red,
And the aliens fly right by.
Will you watch the end of the world with me?

You laugh, I laugh, everyone laughs,
It’ll come sooner than you think.
The sun goes down,
And I doubt that it’ll come back up.

We all woke up in the year 2000.
No Y2K
No flaming inferno,
Maybe tomorrow?

You laugh, I laugh, everyone laughs,
It’ll come sooner than you think.
The sun goes down,
And I doubt that it’ll come back up.

Don’t cry little girl.
It’ll be over soon.
Perhaps,
But may as well go out in one big party.
Celebrating,
You know what,
Oh yes,
The end of the world.

You laugh, I laugh, everyone laughs,
It’ll come sooner than you think.
The sun goes down,
And I doubt that it’ll come back up.

Anarchy!
Theocracy!
Aristocracy!
Dictatorship?

You laugh, I laugh, everyone laughs,
It’ll come sooner than you think.
The sun goes down,
And I doubt that it’ll come back up.

Comedy Corner

I will post anything funny that I write here, imagine as though you are an audience sitting in your seats in a comedy club listening to a standup comic because then you get a better feeling for the comedy.

So, let’s just say that by chance, you happen to be walking on the sidewalk on any particular street, and you see a man walking along the opposite side of the street. Now, imagine if you will, that you disregard this man and look forward, but you glance over again because this man seemed to be quite peculiar. And you notice that he is not walking at all, but instead, waddling (quite quickly I might add) down the sidewalk. Obviously, your first thought would be "What the hell is that guy’s problem?" You continue to stare and you realize his arms aren’t moving, in fact, they are grasping the loops of his pants so tightly, that you can literally see the whites of his knuckles. You then proceed to look at the man’s face and you see that he is nervous as all get out and sweat is just pouring down his face as he gives quick glances to see if anyone is watching him. And then you think again, why is he so damned nervous and then you see the back of his jeans. They seem to be sagging to an abnormal level and have stains, that from a distance, seem as though they are enlarging. And you suddenly realize that you have stopped moving and are standing on the sidewalk, motionless, mouth wide open, simply staring. The man looks back, catches you staring and proclaims at the top of his voice "What the fuck are you lookin’ at … just because a man drops a load in his pants doesn’t mean that anyone can just stare at him! Ya’ fuckin’ bastards!" And now imagine you are still standing there, watching the man continue to walk down the street, with you mouth still wide open. And then you think, will I ever be the same after this? How can I possibly lead my life without laughing my ass off every time I think of this event? And then you think, I bet he has a hard time getting any and you realize you are way better off than that guy. You are then relieved with the thought that in the giant scheme of things, the chance of inferior individuals reproducing is very small and you thank god for Darwin’s theory of natural selection because, boy, would we be in a mess if that whole thing didn't work out.

Streaming Tears

As I went running through the door,
I saw you crying there.
It broke my heart,
Hearing you sob.

You looked up at me,
Tears in your deep blue eyes.
You slapped my face,
And all I could do was stare right back at you.

When does sadness become depression?
When does happiness become absolute joy?
Only the good Lord knows,
And even his knowledge is limited.

Bring Me Back

As you slip away,
I feel the deathly cold,
Creeping up my legs,
And it sunk right into my head.

Blood shot eyes,
Look what you’ve done to me,
It’s been too long,
Gotta find one more hit.

It’s your fault,
You ran away,
Drove me here,
Now see who I am,
What you’ve made of me,
Bring me back,
Before the next hit.

Save me lord,
Now it’s too late …

*This posting is in no way endorsing drug use for people who are depressed, but I am endorsing drug use for all other occasions.

Another Fork In the Road

The winding road divides,
One north,
One south,
Which to take?

North is happiness with a hint of depression,
South is sadness with a chance of joy.
Is the weatherman wrong again?
Torn inside,
It’s not just another fork in the road.
Which is better?
Which to take?

I chose north,
In hopes of it being better,
I was wrong.
It was hell on Earth.

Turned around,
I was southward bound,
The depression hit me,
And then joy overwhelmed me.
Both emotions at once,
The confusion tore me apart.

I guess it was better,
Tomorrow is another day,
Another forecast,
Another fork in the road.

North is happiness with a hint of depression,
South is sadness with a chance of joy.
Is the weatherman wrong again?
Torn inside,
It’s not just another fork in the road.
Which is better?
Which to take?

Dark and Dreary

Dark and dreary,
Or so it seems,
Bright and happy,
Never will be.
Pact with the devil,
My soul,
Only his to keep.
Save me from myself,
A steady decline,
Into oblivion,
Hope flickers,
And dies out.

The Monthly Funnies: Numero Tres

"Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are."

and two more for personal enjoyment ...

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

--- My Favorite ... Robin Williams

Dying On Neutral Ground

Dying on neutral ground,
Bullets fly around me,
The dirt sprays in all directions,
I run as they cut us down.
One bullet pierced my heart,
Pierced my soul,
The next through my back,
And many more,
I fell in no man’s land,
Prayed to God,
Whoever the hell that might be.
Asked for forgiveness,
Rolled onto my side
Everything in slow motion,
I looked at the sky,
Blue and pure,
I could feel my body,
Losing strength,
Bleeding out,
I floated up,
Escape,
I was free.

The Monthly Funnies: Double Trouble

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

- Graffiti

Relative Peace

You call this relative peace
The war is done.
Mission accomplished.
And yet, the bodies fall as the coffins fill.
When you can’t see an enemy you can’t fight a war.
The fight rages on.
Is this good enough for you ‘cause it sure isn’t good enough for us?
What’s the point,
If you create more destruction than peace,
If the hatred grows,
How can you call this relative peace?

Pulse

The music pulsated in his veins as he walked, seemingly in slow motion, through the multitude of people. As he walked through the gyrating crowd, a woman in red gave him a smile and a quick wink. He smiled back and continued on. He walked over to the bar, ordered a glass of water, and swallowed it all in one breath. He then proceeded to the back, passing the DJ. As he stepped up onto the official dance floor, which was continuously changing colors, he gave a quick glance up to the office above the floor. He watched as two people entered the office and one man simultaneously closed the blinds. He walked over to the first door, which was being watched by two large guards. Still in stride, he pulled out his wallet and handed each guard one hundred dollars. Without hesitation, they let him pass. He continued up the stairs and looked away from the video-surveillance camera. As he neared the door to the office, he took the fake VIP card that he had made the previous night out of his blue jeans. He showed the card to the guards, they examined it and then opened the door for him. He stepped in to a darkly lit room with a desk in the corner and chairs surrounding what seemed to be a quite expensive glass table. Three people, including Mr. Barborosa, were sniffing lines of cocaine and barely noticed him enter. Mr. Barborosa caught movement from the area near the door and reached for his gun on the table. Too late for you Mr. Barborosa, he thought as he pulled his silencer and put three bullets into Mr. Barborosa’s forehead. Out of the corner of his eye he saw one man scrambling for the door as the other reached for his gun in his coat jacket. He systematically shot the man in the side who went for the door and the other man only managed to fire one poorly aimed shot before receiving two bullets in the heart. With the last sound of the muffled silencer firing in the darkness, the shooting temporarily ceased. The noise created from inside was loud enough to bring the guards from outside the door to burst into the office, weapons drawn. He dove behind the two-inch-thick steel desk as the guards began firing their automatic weapons at him. The expensive tapestry on the wall was filled with countless holes, the glass figurines on the table were shattered, and the paper on the desk was shredded and flew around the room in a storm not unlike a blizzard. He heard the ominous click of an empty clip and coolly raised his head and shot one of the guards between the eyes as he looked up in fear. The other guard ducked behind the chair, reloaded, and began spraying more bullets across the wall. With his back to the desk, he noticed Mr. Barborosa’s hand crafted shotgun adhered to the steel with clips. He pulled the shotgun out of its clips and waited patiently. Once again, he heard the click. He then dove over the desk, rolled over to the chair and as the guard stood up to see, he sprayed the guards chest all over the door. He stood up, put another clip into his silencer, and walked over to the office window. The guards he had handed hundred dollar bills were nowhere in sight. He picked up Mr. Barborosa’s handkerchief out of his shirt pocket and wiped the door handle of the blood. He walked down the hall only to meet the other guards. They raised their guns and fired. One bullet piercing the plaster next to him, temporarily blinding him as the dust shot out of the wall. He shot one guard in the knee and the other in the back, fracturing his spinal cord. The one hit in the knee fell to the ground, only to be shot in the back of the head. He walked out onto the dance floor, wiped the dust from his eyes, and put away his gun. He then proceeded to the woman in red, got her number, and then left the club into the cool, crisp night.